Livia's Ink Spot | M. Luder, King of "SETI Troopers" Fanfic

M. Luder, King of "SETI Troopers" Fanfic
by Livia Balaban

Classification: Metafic; C with a nonexistent television series
Content: H, A, MSR
Rating: R and a half
Archiving: Here only. Please ask if you'd like to link to it.
Spoilers: A few, through late S8. No further.

Summary: Some excerpts from "Sunday Snaps" days on the 'SETI Troopers' fanfic list.

To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: TFlistmom@msn.com
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps Story List

Hi, all. Here is this week's story list. Sorry for the delay, but it appears that eLists is lagging again. Their admins claim it was a power problem, and promise that the trouble is now over.

A Wing and a Prayer, Chapters 26-34
by BigTrooper (bigtrooper2201@bigfoot.com)

Does She or Doesn't She?
by Dani (daniflyer@mail.cooperlighting.com)

The Grim Reaper
by BaloneyGirl (oscar_mayer2201@yahoo.com)

Never -Ever- Say Never
by M. Luder (m_luder@smoking-gun.org)

Fur Keine Minuten
by sigfried (bekruger@fastmail.de)

++My Only Love
by Sammi (sammi@bedazzle.org)

++ Author's posting debut

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To: trooperfic@elists.com
From: Grace Mueller (mrs_g_mueller@yahoo.com)
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: Character Evolution, Episode 53 by Mrs. Mueller

CAPTAIN BURKE MUELLER
_Last week_: Kind-hearted but strict; Fascinated by his alien first officer; Selfless, crafty soldier in the Vartasian war.
_This week_: A total boob who doesn't seem to remember he even *has* a first officer; Self-absorbed, oblivious to politics; Horndog
_Rating_: Phooey.

FIRST OFFICER COMMANDER AURORA
_Last week_: Stolid, emotionally-repressed, beautiful amber-skinned Vartasian; Fascinated by her captain; Intelligent, curious scientist and commander; No noticeable libido
_This week_: Stolid, emotionally-repressed, beautiful amber-skinned Vartasian; Fascinated by her captain; Intelligent, curious scientist and commander; No noticeable libido
_Rating_: Yawn.

SECOND OFFICER LIEUTENANT GABRIEL MARQUEZ
_Last week_: Short-tempered ethnic stereotype; Clever officer but no sense of internal politics, which makes no sense in that he's third in command of SETI's battle flagship.
_This week_: Short-tempered ethnic stereotype with a conscience; Clever officer with no need to worry about politics considering he spent the entire episode alone inside a shuttlecraft.
_Rating_: Plot device. Next week let's hope Schmuck Boy writes him as a person again.

SHIP'S PHYSICIAN DR. ELEANORE CONAWAY
_Last week_: Who? With tits.
_This week_: Who? With tits.
_Rating_: Who?

ARMORY OFFICER KYLE MONROE
_Last week_: Offensive gun-toting ethnic stereotype
_This week_: Offensive gun-toting ethnic stereotype with a long-lost brother
_Rating_: Do something with him already, sucka.

SHIP'S COOK DANI
_Last week_: Human exposition regurgitator without a last name. All she's missing is the Aunt Jemimah scarf to make the Nurturing Southern Black Earth Mother stereotype complete.
_This week_: Human exposition regurgitator without a last name. Nurturing Southern Black Earth Mother stereotype now complete with the addition of collard greens to the mess hall menu.
_Rating_: Mrs. Mueller recommends that Schmuck Boy read The Emancipation Proclamation.

EXOBOTANIST HIROYUKI MORIMOTO
_Last week_: Oh look, a winky nod to Iron Chef.
_This week_: Oh look, a winky nod to Iron Chef, in a hat.
_Rating_: Kill him off. It would be kinder.

FLEET ADMIRAL JAMES RIORDAN
_Last week_: Stiff, unemotional middle-aged bureaucrat in a snazzy uniform. Likes Aurora just a *little* too much.
_This week_: MIA. Mr. Elliott is on a well-deserved vacation. That chain-climbing scene from "Gold Record" two weeks ago must have pooped him out.
_Rating_: Have another daiquiri and come back when you have a decent storyline.

See all y'all next week!

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: barbarella2201@action.net
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: Re: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps Story List

What a great week for Trooperfic! I had a really good time reading the stories this week on TrooperFic and TroopGroup.

A Wing and a Prayer
BigTrooper keeps us on our toes with this suspenseful tale of hijacking and mistaken identity. Just when you think you know where it's going to go, BAM, she throws in another twist. Keep writing, BT! I can hardly wait to see what happens to Captain Mueller and Commander Aurora in the alternate timeline!

The Grim Reaper
BG, you're scaring me, you really are. This was a horrible, nasty, amazing story. It was really angsty and totally sad. Poor Gabriel.

Never - Ever - Say Never
Luder, dude, you hit me again. GOD this guy can write the UST. This was, bar none, the sexiest, steamiest, smuttiest tale I've read all winter. The way he kept Mueller and Aurora on edge for so long, then letting them explode into their first time in the sack (so to speak <g>), I thought I was gonna explode myself! If you haven't read this one, READ IT NOW. Hubba hubba.

My Only Love
We can thank Listmom for spelling the title of "My Onlly Love" correctly. Hey Sammi, try hitting [F7] next time! <g> ;-P

That's it for me. Thanks for all the great fic!

Barb

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Jane Bussey (jbussey@excitemail.com)
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sizzlin' Sunday Snaps

I only read one story this week, and it was - of course - Luder's latest smut epic. All I can say is - WOW.

Nobody does unrequited love like the Ludeman. Fortunately, he doesn't leave us hanging, and it's our good fortune he also writes the best damn smut around. The guy should teach a class. (Hey, maybe he does in RL!)

>>When the flow in the decontamination shower ceases, she raises her head. Then the silken veil parts, and he sees what she attempted so valiantly to conceal: pupils dilated with want, lips moist and parted, rich golden cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of amber, and he understands that this is the moment. This is when professional courtesy transforms into pure, raw heat. They are no longer captain and executive officer; they are male and female. As he turns and bares himself to her - breaths shallow and blood pumping determinedly into his cock - he picks up her intoxicating scent, and all his lust-clouded brain can handle is, "Mine." It's too much to process, too much to contain. He is overloading with desire, and the surfeit slithers out of him as a low, menacing growl.<<

I've always been fascinated with the one moment it happens, and Luder really did the moment justice.

Thanks!

Jane
off to see if my MuellerClone can growl

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Mary Ann Evans(m_a_evans@nbci.com)
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Fic

I liked many of the stories that came out on the list this week, especially "Does She or Doesn't She?" by Dani and "Never -Ever- Say Never" by M. Luder. But I have some questions about them.

Did anybody else find it confusing when Dani referred to Aurora's "color" in the first paragraph? Was she talking about Aurora's hair color or skin color?

I wasn't sure what the phrase "around the corner" meant in the hallway scene. Did that mean something was about to happen, or that it was literally around the corner and down the corridor? I thought that was confusing and made the story kind of hard to follow.

In M. Luder's story, when Mueller is undecided and trying to figure out what kind of relationship he wants with Aurora, there's a mention of a "two-headed monster" in Captain Mueller's closet, but there's no other mention of it later in the story. I think maybe we should have heard more about this monster, because it sounded really interesting and then we never heard about it again.

I also wasn't sure what he meant by "her gaze returned to Mueller's plump, tempting lips," because Mueller was in the doorway watching Aurora nearly kiss somebody who looked just like him, so they couldn't have been Mueller's lips. I think it should have been clearer that they were the imposter's lips.

Later on in the scene where Mueller and Aurora just barely escape the containment vessel full of injector drones, there wasn't any mention at all that one of the drones hid inside her headdress, and that's what stung her later in the story. So when they're in the corridor outside Mueller's quarters and she pulls the empty injector drone out of the back of her neck, it's not clear where it came from, since they escaped the containment vessel more than a day before. Did the drone hide there the entire time?

In the scene outside the Cordovian compound, when Aurora tries to make the livestock scatter so they can get a better view of the infiltrators, Mueller wasn't clear about what he meant when he said he never saw her as a mother before. Did that mean he didn't know she eventually wanted children, or did it mean that he didn't think she'd be a very good mother? I think that would be really mean and not at all in character.

Thank you!

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: idigsammi@yahoo.com
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sunny Sunday Snaps

It was kind of a light week, so I actually got to read everything on the list! (I know I know dont expect it to last!)

>A Wing and a Prayer, Chapters 26-34
>by BigTrooper (bigtrooper2201@bigfoot.com)

Really suspensful! I've been begging BT to finish this before school starts again. You listening BT? <g>

>Does She or Doesn't She?
>by Dani (daniflyer@mail.cooperlighting.com)

Cute one! Personally, I think that's her real color, but I guess only Mueller would now for sure!

>The Grim Reaper
>by BaloneyGirl (oscar_mayer2201@yahoo.com)

This was really sad. I was totally bummed after reading it. Uh, is that a good thing? ;-) I don't like to think about the Vartasians wining the war, but if they did, this could really happen.

>Never -Ever- Say Never
>by M. Luder (m_luder@smoking-gun.org)

This was really great! If you haven't read it yet, you have to! You don't know what your missing!

>Fur Keine Minuten
>by sigfried (bekruger@fastmail.de)

I kinda wish a translation of the title was there. I dont always get the titles in other languages. This was a good fic tho. Mueller is really hot as a space vampire!

>My Only Love
>by Sammi (sammiluvr@bedazzle.org)

This was really sweet and totally romantic. Why can't they do this on the show?

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Cmoffat (cmoffat@agrippa.net)
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: Re: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps Story List

There was a lot to choose from this week, even if there weren't a lot of stories.

I got my dose of a postapocalyptic future in "The Grim Reaper" and I may never be able to watch the show the same way again. Those little injector drones have taken on a whole new meaning. Thanks, BG! :-(

I had a real laugh with Dani's Skin!Fic. It was a great alien-skin parody of the old question about hair color. I certainly learned things about the short 'n' curlies too (especially Aurora's) I never would have known. Who says the Internet doesn't broaden one's education?

I got all hot and bothered by "Never - Ever - Say Never" by Luder. Somehow, in the middle of the flirting and smut, the story was still poignant. The key ring scene broke my heart, and the spooning afterward healed it all over again. She(?) (he?) is a top author here.

Thanks for sharing, everybody!

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: groaner@smoking-gun.org
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Superfluous Sunday Snaps

I did beta on "Never - Ever - Say Never" so I can't be impartial.

Ah, fuck it. What a great fuckin' story. What a great FUCKIN' story.

I love doing beta for Luder 'cause you never have to edit the smut. Oh sure, you gotta fix a verb tense here and there, but mostly his stuff is just ready to roll. This one was in-fuckin'-credible.

Of course I like his smut as much as the porn videos from which he steals his best scenes (BUSTED, Luder!), but that keyring thing killed me. Read this:

>>It was more than just a random token, a trinket
>>culled from an ancestor's trunk in a dusty, murky
>>attic. It was a piece of his family's history - a
>>marker showing the passage of time and the flow
>>of one generation to the next.
>>
>>He would never have children because he could not
>>have them with her. In a way, she was his next
>>generation - his only progeny - born of sweat and
>>fear and years of trust and understanding. She
>>was all the family he would ever need, and when
>>the keyring slipped easily into her warm tawny
>>palm, he knew it was where it belonged.

The insight into one man's sad, lonely life is just incredible.

No doubt we'll hear from Truthseeker and Manhammer about this one too, but this is my take: if you don't appreciate the Ludeman, just pluck your eyes out now and never read again, 'cause you'll never find any better.

Later,
groaner

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: goofydoof@mail.com
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Silly Sunday Snaps

<chuckling wildly> Death and smut! Death and smut! I <heart> Trooperfic.

RL intervened (again, growl), so I only got to two fics this week, but manoman did I choose wisely.

BG's Grim Reaper angstfest hurt like holy hell, but it really worked. I'm kind of on the fence about how far a Vartasian victory would affect the Alliance, but this scenario still worked. When BG commits to a storyline, she commits. Right on!

Line of the week:

>>"Forget all you know about
>>independence, human," Arkus
>>oozed, pinching the skin of
>>Mueller's nape as she fastened
>>the electronic collar around his
>>neck. "Illusions of freedom are
>>lethal to slaves."

>>Mueller's posture was ramrod-
>>straight, his gaze unswerving.
>>"The war has only just begun,
>>Arkus." With a faint smirk he
>>added, "Just for your
>>edification, 'human' isn't an
>>insult. It's a point of pride."

Go Slave!Mueller! BG, you'd better make good on your promise and show us that man harem!

Luder's angstysmut didn't do much to improve my mood until we got to the RST, and then ROWR. I keep hoping that since the show is on cable, they'll eventually be able to show us *something*. Even if they don't, I hope the writers can at least get off their lazy asses and commit to a scene as USTy and suspenseful as this:

>>Mueller felt the magnetic pull of flesh to
>>flesh, soul to like soul, and moved, slowly,
>>inexorably forward. Tears streamed down Aurora's
>>amber cheeks, and it was then that he understood
>>she feared their coming together as much as
>>she feared separation. He had committed
>>himself to her with words of devotion, and she
>>hadn't run. Instead they stood, forehead to
>>forehead, drawing in each other's breath, afraid
>>to move forward, terrified to drift apart. There
>>was a gulf; a vast, bottomless chasm between
>>them, but with every shared breath and every
>>spilled tear, the rift narrowed until it was small
>>enough to hurdle.
>>
>>Mueller had no concern that this vital moment
>>was taking place in the open; in the empty,
>>echoey corridor outside his quarters. No one could
>>tear his attention from her, and nothing could pull
>>him from her touch.
>>
>>When her warm copper lips slid upward to press
>>against his forehead, a surge of hunger, an
>>unquenchable wave of adoration washed over him,
>>and he knew - knew- that this was the moment
>>everything would change. Her soft, plush
>>mouth descended down his face, placing gentle
>>kisses on his nose and down the side of his cheek,
>>and then there they were, eye to eye, nose to nose,
>>chin to chin, their lips only a hair's breadth apart,
>>so close that it was easier to come together than to
>>move away.
>>
>>When they moved, the world in slow motion as the
>>mere microns between them diminished, the
>>entirety of creation narrowed to the single point
>>where their lips would meet...
>>
>>And she gasped. At first he thought it was the shock
>>of sudden realization, that their world was balanced
>>on a single atom, and was about to tip forever, but
>>when he drew back and saw the expression of pain
>>and confusion in her eyes, he knew that something
>>was horribly, horribly wrong.
>>
>>Her hand reached behind her neck and returned,
>>holding a single - oh God, empty - injector drone.
>>A heartbeat later she collapsed into his arms, her
>>eyes wild and already glazing over.
>>
>>"No!" he cried out in terror. He felt her life slipping
>>away, felt her lovely taut body going limp in his arms,
>>and he called for assistance with what remained of his
>>composure. "Mueller to Medibay! Medical emergency
>>on deck nine!" He softened his voice. "Hold on,
>>Aurora. Help is on the way. Stay with me! You
>>have to hold on!"
>>
>>"Mueller," she gasped, clinging to his shoulders with
>>what little strength she could muster, "c...c...cold."

I had to put the thing down and stop crying before I could finish but I'm glad I did. It was sweet and hot. Great job, Luder!

Goofette

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: truthseekr@smoking-gun.org
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps

I'm just popping in and popping out with only one recommendation this week: Luder's "Never -Ever- Say Never".

This one reached a new high for me; on my angst index, I give it a twenty-beard-hair rating. I probably pulled more than that, but I stopped counting at twenty.

Luder's specialty is Mueller POV, and I'm glad he sticks to what he knows. Although this story is written ostensibly in the third person, the experience is totally and thoroughly inside Mueller's headspace.

Good for us. Luder paints shades of sorrow and loneliness better than any author on this list. I stand (well, sit, actually) in awe of his ability to make me feel the man's age-worn pain and fears of abandonment and failure. More than that, his gloriously honest view of Aurora through Mueller's eyes is uncompromisingly critical yet also heartwrenchingly tender.

If I started quoting my favorite bits, I'd end up cutting and pasting most of this minor epic. But if I had to boil this whole story down to one perfect and defining moment it would be the scene in which we see Aurora's dismay at Mueller's lack of trust in her, filtered through Mueller's inability to understand Aurora's point of view. Of course we're supposed to understand that Mueller is deluding himself into thinking he can trust his previous first officer (that devious tramp) and that Aurora's concern about the woman's loyalties is valid, yet we still feel Mueller's confusion and frustration, aimed solely at the woman he both believes in and fails to appreciate fully. We can all see that Mueller is utterly, utterly wrong - and has insulted his best friend horribly - but we can still somehow understand the man's internal logic and his desperate wish to have faith in both women. That's complexity at its finest.

I'm not really into smut (I leave that for Groaner and Manhammer to edit) but this story had enough conflict and tension (not to mention resolved tension) to keep me hooked to the very last word. It's an honor to beta for such a fine author.

My prediction: Another Troopie award for best angst story.

</betabias>

United we stand,
Truthseeker

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Diane Marillat (dmarillat@home.com)
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Stringy Sunday Snaps

I don't have a lot of recs this week. Since everybody's blindly following the "events" of season two, there isn't much left to read. Is everybody a Mueller/Aurora shipper? I'm starting to think I should revive the Resistance list. If you're interested in joining, let me know.

The only story I could read that wouldn't make me puke my guts out from all the mush was sigfried's vampire story. Mueller was a little out there, but the boyslash with Gabriel was really hot.

Come on, guys, give me something to read! I'm starting to think I should just unsub and leave all of you to your sappy illusions of happy romance.

Diane

~~"I'm an officer first, Mueller. Peddle the innuendo elsewhere."~~
- First Officer Commander Aurora, S1, "Black Hole"

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Dark Side of the Galaxy (catchmeifucan@msn.com)
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps

I've been waiting for BT to finish posting her novel, and the anticipation is killing me. Finish! Finish!

This installment asked more questions than it answered, and I'm simultaneously giddy and pissed off. Finish!

Would a plate of those special (urp) snickerdoodles help the writing process? FINISH!!

Oh, and marry me? That is once you're done marrying Severen, bosty, Black Hole, Carni, (checking notes)...CW, mastrangelo, Marian...<vbg>

Dark Side, the as-yet unwed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enter the prison of my mind, the home of the Dark Side:
http://darkside.homestead.com

"It's not at all what you think. Okay, it is."
Captain Burke Mueller, "Collusions of Grandeur"

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To: TrooperFic (TrooperFic@elists.com)
From: Lord Manhammer (manhammer@smoking-gun.org)
Date: Sunday, March 12, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Serious Sunday Snaps

The third of the Triumvirate of Glory, reporting in.

In the spirit of full disclosure:

I, Lord Manhammer, now hereby attest
that I provided beta reading services to
M. Luder on his most recent fic, "Never
-Ever- Say Never."

There. That oughtta get me off the hook if I gush.

Okay, Truthseeker is a puss. But he knows that already. Yeah, yeah, Luder does great UST and deep, probing character analysis, yadda yadda yadda, but gimme the fuckin' smut. This sucker steamed up my glasses. Twice.

The first time was that blazin' UST scene in Aurora's quarters, when Mueller busts in on her and his doppelganger about to lock lips. You could just feel the testosterone seeping off the screen.

The second time was the zero-gravity consummation. Jesus Goldblatt on a tricycle, the dude can write smut. How the hell can he condense so much context AND scorching sex into so few words? He gets so deep inside their heads, it's spooky.

If you ever get tired of those assholes jerking you around at your day job, Luder, I say quit it and write full time. I'll pose for the cover art.

Signing off, I remain
your very own
Lord Manhammer

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: TFlistmom@msn.com
Date: Sunday, August 13, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps Story List

It looks like almost everyone's on vacation this week, but we still have a couple of die hard authors to feed our obsession. And they are:

++A Wing and a Prayer, Chapters 48-54
by BigTrooper (bigtrooper2201@bigfoot.com)

Alpha, Beta, or Me?
by Dark Side of the Galaxy (catchmeifucan@msn.com)

++ Final installment, no longer a WIP.

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: donelle@hotmail.com
Datee: Sunday, August 13, 2000
Subject: Re: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps Story List

Wow, what a slow week!

BT, you really ended the saga on a high note! Thank so much for taking us on such a great ride! I'm especially happy you left it open for a sequel. You're going to write one, right?

Hey, where's Luder? We haven't seen anything from him in months! I'm going through AngstSmut withdrawl!

donelle

------Recs by donelle------
http://www.freeservers.com/recsbydonelle

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Jane Bussey (jbussey@excitemail.com)
Date: Sunday, August 13, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Shadow of Sunday Snaps

Yeah, donelle, you said it. Where's Luder at? RL intervene?

BT really did end her novel with a punch, and it was just great! If any of you were holding off because it was a WIP, go to her site and read the whole thing now! The way she tied up all the timelines was amazing!

Jane
off to harrass Luder to get back to writing

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Cmoffat (cmoffat@agrippa.net)
Date: Sunday, August 13, 2000
Subject: Re: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps Story List

BigTrooper finally finished her fabulous novel. I recommend it to everyone who hasn't read it yet. It was just great! I'm with Jane - - let's see a book two!!

Dark Side hit us with a hilarious (or is that an hilarious?) parody of Burke/Gabriel slash that made me spray Mr. Pibb all over my monitor. Shall I just send you the bill, DS?

And YEAH, where the heck IS Luder?

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: TFlistmom@msn.com
Date: Sunday, November 19, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps Story List

Here's the list of this week's fic:

Toe and Camber, Skin of Amber
by Dark Side of the Galaxy (catchmeifucan@msn.com)

I'll Have What He's Having
by Dani (daniflyer@mail.cooperlighting.com)

Fiat Justitia
by Diane Marillat (dmarillat@home.com)

Rumination on an Unfamiliar Constellation
by Severen and Black Hole (atthehip@yahoo.com)

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To: trooperfic@elists.com
From: Grace Mueller (mrs_g_mueller@yahoo.com)
Date: Sunday, November 19, 2000
Subject: Character Evolution, Episode 67 by Mrs. Mueller

CAPTAIN BURKE MUELLER
_Last week_: Kind-hearted but strict; Fascinated by his alien first officer but is uncertain where her loyalties lie; Selfless, crafty soldier in the Vartasian war; Still getting loads of tail
_This week_: MIA. It was Dr. Conaway's turn.
_Rating_: Whatever.

SECOND OFFICER LIEUTENANT GABRIEL MARQUEZ
_Last week_: Short-tempered ethnic stereotype with a sensitive side; Clever officer who's learning the hard way about internal politics
_This week_: Short-tempered ethnic stereotype with a conscience; Nothing else in that he had a fifteen-second scene. It was Dr. Conaway's turn.
_Rating_: Whatever.

SHIP'S PHYSICIAN DR. ELEANORE CONAWAY
_Last week_: Who? With tits.
_This week_: A deeply dedicated doctor from a broken home, coming to terms with the decisions she made before entering medical school; Constantly walking in slow motion, accompanied by a pop-techno soundtrack
_Rating_: We didn't need the credits to tell us that Ms. Devlin renegotiated her contract with a guarantee to write and direct an entire episode about her own character. It was actually halfway decent. Shame she'll be a pair of tits again next week.

ARMORY OFFICER KYLE MONROE
_Last week_: Offensive gun-toting ethnic stereotype with a long lost brother, potentially fatal allergy to anaprophiline, the ability to ride a motorcycle, and a strange taste for Ultimate Boxing
_This week_: Offensive gun-toting ethnic stereotype with a long lost brother, potentially fatal allergy to anaprophiline, the ability to ride a motorcycle, and a strange taste for Ultimate Boxing, with a hideous secret.
_Rating_: Blah, blah, blah.

EXOBOTANIST HIROYUKI MORIMOTO
_Last week_: Oh look, a winky nod to Iron Chef.
_This week_: Oh look, a winky nod to Iron Chef, finally getting laid for no readily apparent reason except to showcase his surprisingly well developed pectoral muscles.
_Rating_: KILL HIM.

SHIP'S COOK DANI
_Last week_: Dead
_This week_: Still dead.
_Rating_: With Schmuck Boy in charge, you never know. She stays on the list.

FLEET ADMIRAL JAMES RIORDAN
_Last week_: Stiff, unemotional middle-aged bureaucrat in a snazzy uniform. Likes Aurora just a *little* too much.
_This week_: Stiff, unemotional middle-aged bureaucrat in a snazzy uniform. Likes Mueller just a *little* too much.
_Rating_: Slashers go to town.

See all y'all next week!

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Mary Ann Evans(m_a_evans@nbci.com)
Date: Sunday, November 19, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Fic

I only had time to read one story this week.

"Rumination on an Unfamiliar Constellation" was really good for a sad story, but I didn't understand why Morimoto thought his unhappiness would kill all the plants in his lab. When they said "Over time he'd poisoned everything he touched and he wondered why anything at all was left alive. He felt the air and energy leave the room as he entered. Smiles and laughter died on his lips as they formed; why wouldn't the vivid green fade as well?" did that mean he wanted all his plants to die too?

Thank you!

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: groaner (groaner@smoking-gun.org)
Date: Sunday, November 19, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Somber Sunday Announcement

I've put this off for five days because I just didn't know how to say it. Forgive me, everyone, if I fail to do this great man justice.

It is with a heavy heart that I must report the tragic death of one of our greatest writers. M. Luder, a dear friend and brilliant man, lost his life this last week, despite a valiant struggle to survive months of unimaginable suffering. He leaves behind his life partner, an unborn child, a handful of devoted friends, and five half-starved fish.

We will all mourn our loss in our own way, but I ask all of you to remember him as we knew him best; cheeky, introspective, and ingenious.

I have spoken with his partner, and it is her wish that donations be made to Amnesty International in his name. Freedom to all prisoners of war! Those of us who knew him best will continue to fight in his name.

He was my friend and hero for more than a decade, and I will miss him fiercely.

The King is dead. Long live the King.

groaner

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Jane Bussey (jbussey@excitemail.com)
Date: Sunday, November 19, 2000
Subject: Re: [TrooperFic]Somber Sunday Announcement

>> M. Luder, a dear friend and brilliant man, lost his life this last week<<

Thanks for letting us know, groaner, and you did just fine. What a horrible loss. He and his family are in my prayers.

{{{{groaner}}}}

Jane

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: BigTrooper (bigtrooper2201@bigfoot.com)
Date: Sunday, November 19, 2000
Subject: Re: [TrooperFic]Somber Sunday Announcement

Oh my God, Groaner, I'm so sorry. Thank you for telling us where to send donations. I'm logging in to Paypal right now.

I've looked up to Luder as a courageously experimental writer and community fixture since I started writing TrooperFic, so it's hard to believe he's really gone. My thoughts are with you, Groaner, and all his RL friends and family.

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: BaloneyGirl (oscar_mayer2201@yahoo.com)
Date: Sunday, November 19, 2000
Subject: Re: [TrooperFic]Somber Sunday Announcement

<shaking head in sorrow> I feel so selfish about this. All I keep thinking about is that I'll never read another one of his stories or indulge in a wicked chat session with him again.

What really hurts here is that there's going to be a baby out there who'll never know he was its father. Oh God, I can't stop crying.

We'll miss you, Luder. Eternal peace to you.

Mandy

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: TFlistmom@msn.com
Date: Monday, November 20, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]M. Luder Vigil

The TroopGroup moderator has asked me to announce that tomorrow night's TroopChat will be devoted to a vigil for our friend M. Luder, and accordingly will take place at midnight EST. Please join in with stories and chat excerpts, so we can not mourn his death but rather celebrate his life.

I know I speak for everyone on this list and TroopGroup when I express my sorrow and sympathy to his friends and family.

The poll results are very clear; the remainder of this year's party budget will be split 50/50 between donations for Amnesty International and SETI in his name.

I hope to see lots of you in chat tomorrow night.

Geri

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: truthseekr@smoking-gun.org
Date: Sunday, December 24, 2000
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps in Memoriam

On behalf of the friends and family of M. Luder, I would like to thank all of you who sent notes of support, as well as those who have made generous donations in his name. To date, over three thousand dollars have found their way to Amnesty International and SETI.

As I sit back and reflect this chilly Christmas Eve, I recall the compassionate, passionate spirit of the man I called friend, and hope that somehow he knows how sorely he is missed.

What compels me to write this, however, has nothing to do with the hundreds of condolence messages that have poured in from all corners of the world. It is, instead, feedback.

It was our joint decision to leave his email address active, and in only five weeks, over one hundred fifty pieces of feedback have arrived for him. Most of the messages conveyed the hope that Luder would somehow hear their words of praise. So yesterday, laden with cheese steaks, sunflower seeds and some weird Northwest microbrew he seemed to like, we journeyed to his graveside and paid tribute. We had printed out all the feedback that arrived since his death, and with a little trowel, buried the rolled-up words of praise and admiration alongside him. We sprinkled the seeds and beer, ate the cheese steaks, and said our final goodbyes.

Groaner, Manhammer and I would like to thank all of you for your kindness over the past few weeks. You are all wonderful people, and we are proud to be part of this exceptional community.

United we stand,
Truthseeker

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: TFlistmom@msn.com
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps Story List

Here's the list of this week's fics:

Graveside Manner
by BaloneyGirl (oscar_mayer2201@yahoo.com)

Okay, Apart From THAT
by Santanitaholic (mksimmons@home.com)

Swamp Gas Cocktail
by Dani (daniflyer@mail.cooperlighting.com)

++(ultra)Modern Parenting
by Dirt Nap (phoenix@smoking-gun.org)

Be Mine
by Sammi (sammiluvr@bedazzle.org)

++ Author's posting debut

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Gorgon Zola (saycheese@megsinet.net)
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: Re: [TrooperFic]Sunday Snaps Story List

I'm about to make a guilty confession here: I don't feed back the way I should. I realized when I read Dirt Nap's debut story, and all I could think of was, "This feels like vintage Luder."

I should have fed him back. If you're out there somewhere, Luder, you were awesome. We all miss you.

I feel a little like a traitor comparing the two, but I can't help it. Dirt Nap's unerring sense of who Mueller and Aurora really are (even in a situation as absurd as expecting a child) anchors "(ultra)Modern Parenting" in a way I haven't seen in almost a year. This fic is sweet and poignant, and when I saw the email address of the author I understood a little more about why it felt familiar. Those smoking gun dudes must give crack beta.

DN, this was a great debut story, and I look forward to reading more from you!

I also enjoyed Santanitaholic's canon-departing insanity a whole lot. Continuity errors in the show drive me batty, and I'm glad to see someone lampoon TPTB's pathetic inattention to detail so well. Excellent!

Tart and zingy,
Gorgon

"Infinity is the lazy man's glib classification
of all that which is not yet knowable."
Commander Aurora, "Top of His Game" by M. Luder

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Jane Bussey (jbussey@excitemail.com)
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: [TrooperFic]Summarized Sunday Snaps

Good, I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt a definite Luderish vibe from Dirt Nap's debut fic. DN, just for the record, that's officially A Very Good Thing. He was the King. Thanks for giving DN such great beta, smoking gunners!

I thought Mueller's inability to figure out how he fit in after his months in prison camp really rang true. I found the story a little too mushy for my taste, but overall I thought the characters were realistic, and if Aurora was actually able to have children with him<g>, this is how she'd be. Riordan, of course, was both stiff and insightful.

>>"I need to know who the father of Commander Aurora's baby is," Admiral Riordan insisted. "With all the genetic compatibility issues, the child could become a huge bargaining chip for either side, and I will not permit that to happen."

"If you have questions about Commander Aurora's pregnancy, sir," Mueller responded in a cold voice, "you should ask her yourself. She is in the best position to inform you of the child's paternity."

Riordan watched Mueller's face, hoping, even expecting to see some little twitch or flutter that would expose the truth Mueller was concealing on behalf of his first officer. Perhaps, Riordan mused, even for himself.<<

That's amazing writing there. We're, like 100K into the story, and we STILL don't know if Mueller and Aurora have even done the deed, much less if a human and Vartasian really could conceive. That's riding the line with skill.

So that's one thumb down for an overly sentimental scenario, and two thumbs up for solid writing. The banter kicked ass, too.

Re: "Okay, Apart From THAT"; what Gorgon said. It was a total scream.

BG, you're trying to kill me, I'm sure of it now. "Graveside Manner" was yet another heart-stopper of unending bleakness. It was just great but I'm starting to worry about you a little. You want some of my Prozac? <vbg>

Jane
off to find out what those smoking
gunners put into the beta water

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: idigsammi@yahoo.com
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: [TrooperFic]Screwy Sunday Snaps

>Graveside Manner
>by BaloneyGirl (oscar_mayer2201@yahoo.com)

I think I have to stop reading the depressing stuff! My mom called yesterday and she thought I'd lost my best friend or something! This was really painful, BG!

>Okay, Apart From THAT
>by Santanitaholic (mksimmons@home.com)

This was realy funny. I guess it was only a matter of time before somebody would comment on how many shuttles they've destroyed! What is that like nine now?

>Swamp Gas Cocktail
>by Dani (daniflyer@mail.cooperlighting.com)

Dani, your so cool! I liked this one a lot! It totally ruined my dinner but it was excellent!

>++(ultra)Modern Parenting
>by Dirt Nap (phoenix@smoking-gun.org)

I was kind of hoping they would find a way to let Aurora have a baby anyway, even though they always make such a big deal out of the fact that she can't with a human. I wish they'd just forget about the alien/human genetic stuff and just let them get on with it like this story did. It was totally awesome, DN! Welcome to Trooperfic!

>Be Mine
>by Sammi (sammiluvr@bedazzle.org)

Really sweet!

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To: trooperfic@elists.com
From: Grace Mueller (mrs_g_mueller@yahoo.com)
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: Character Evolution, Episode 82 by Mrs. Mueller

CAPTAIN BURKE MUELLER
_Last week_: Where oh where could he be? Perhaps on Mardok Prime.
_This week_: Where oh where could he be? Perhaps in a seedy bar in Greenwich Village.
_Rating_: Are they trying to save money by shooting all his scenes in the dark?

SECOND OFFICER LIEUTENANT GABRIEL MARQUEZ
_Last week_: Short-tempered ethnic stereotype with a sensitive side; Clever officer who's learning the hard way about internal politics
_This week_: Back to the short-tempered ethnic stereotype; Back to having no sense about politics.
_Rating_: Script written a year and a half ago, finally used because they don't have anything else available at the moment and Schmuck Boy insists on writing every script himself.

SHIP'S PHYSICIAN DR. ELEANORE CONAWAY
_Last week_: Who? With tits.
_This week_: Who? With tits and a new hairstyle.
_Rating_: Yawn.

ARMORY OFFICER KYLE MONROE
_Last week_: Offensive gun-toting ethnic stereotype with a long lost brother, potentially fatal allergy to anaprophiline, the ability to ride a motorcycle, a strange taste for Ultimate Boxing, a covered up murder in his past, an abusive girlfriend, a really comfortable recliner in his quarters, and a heretofore concealed vision problem.
_This week_: Offensive gun-toting ethnic stereotype with a long lost brother, potentially fatal allergy to anaprophiline, the ability to ride a motorcycle, a strange taste for Ultimate Boxing, a covered up murder in his past, an abusive girlfriend, a really comfortable recliner in his quarters, and a heretofore concealed vision problem that could very well affect his future and career in the SETI Troopers fleet.
_Rating_: Blah, blah, blah.

SHIP'S COOK DANI
_Last week_: Dead
_This week_: Not at all dead, but rather stuck in some temporal-warp plot device so she could return and spew folk wisdom at Mueller.
_Rating_: I told you so.

EXOBOTANIST HIROYUKI MORIMOTO
_Last week_: Oh look, a winky nod to Iron Chef, engaged in a holographic sword fight with an ancient samurai to show off his surprisingly well developed pectoral muscles.
_This week_: Oh look, a winky nod to Iron Chef, doing pull-ups to show off his surprisingly well developed pectoral muscles.
_Rating_: Perhaps you didn't hear us the first 81 times we said it: KILL HIM.

FLEET ADMIRAL JAMES RIORDAN
_Last week_: Stiff, unemotional middle-aged bureaucrat in a snazzy uniform. Likes Mueller just a *little* too much.
_This week_: Stiff, unemotional middle-aged bureaucrat in a snazzy uniform. Likes Mueller so much even the slashers are creeped out by it.
_Rating_: Schmuck Boy, go watch "Queer as Folk" to learn what real homosexual flirting looks like.

See all y'all next week!

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Mary Ann Evans(m_a_evans@nbci.com)
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: [TrooperFic]Fic

I only had time to read two stories this week.

I liked "Swamp Gas Cocktail" by Dani, even though it was a little gross.

I didn't get what she meant when she said that Gabriel's tail was really nice. Was she talking about him growing a new tail because of the chemicals in the swamp gas? That wasn't clear.

I read Dirt Nap's story too and have a few questions. When Mueller goes and rescues the new Captain Bay and Ensign Satterly from that lizard alien, Mueller thinks about how blind Bay is, especially where Aurora is concerned, but that doesn't make any sense because Aurora isn't in the cave at all. Lisa Satterly is the one in the cave with Captain Bay. The lizard alien sprayed acid in the eyes of both Bay and Satterly, but Bay is the only one Mueller thinks is blind.

Also when Admiral Riordan is attacked by The Dark One, his only thought as he sinks to the floor is of Commander Aurora. But only two scenes before he's kissing Captain Bay up against the bulkhead! Wouldn't he be thinking about the man he'd just kissed rather than a woman who's in love with somebody else?

Then that night, when Mueller is in Aurora's quarters and they're watching that old movie on the holoprojector, he makes a comment about the baby possibly coming out looking just like Admiral Riordan, and she responds, "He does have a bigger phase pistol," and then she smiles. Does that mean she actually did have an affair with Riordan?

Thank you!

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Lord Manhammer (manhammer@smoking-gun.org)
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sheepish Sunday Snaps

Manhammer here, confessing to having done beta for the newest stallion in our stable.

Against my objections for all the schmoop, Dirt Nap stuck with the intended storyline, so I guess, uh…snaps for the self-confidence?

I can kind of see the parallels people are drawing between DN and our late lamented Luder, but DN's outlook is totally different. Sure, there are some stylistic similarities, but I'm not exactly down with all this big-eyed Precious Moments crap. But DN knows that already. DN, dude: I knew Luder, and you're no Luder. But you're still damn good.

Glad to have you aboard the Love Train.

Your conductor,
Lord Manhammer

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Cmoffat (cmoffat@agrippa.net)
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: [TrooperFic]Sentimental Sunday Snaps

We had some great variety this week!

BG, still holding the reins of Angst, Morbidity and Death (TM), slammed my good mood right down tubes with "Graveside Manner". The imagery of the fog and the broken tea cup was just stunning. Well done!

Santanitaholic's "Okay, Apart from THAT" lifted my spirits again with a zinger of a condemnation!fic. I don't believe anyone has ever accused TPTB of any kind of attention to continuity, but it took this fic to make me aware of all the big *and* small blunders they've let slip by. Great job!

Finally, Dirt Nap drew me into an emotional roller coaster ride in "(ultra)Modern Parenting". Personally, I'm able to just pretend that Aurora and Mueller are able to conceive, so I just went along for the ride. The scene in Mueller's quarters after his return was incredibly tense and somehow didn't reveal anything. DN really knows how to drag us along without telling us enough to give away the twists.

>>She sat quietly, fussing with the edge of one cuff while he reacquainted himself with the objects scattered about his quarters. Some of the knicknacks and books he'd owned since he was a child, yet after only six months of imprisonment and isolation, nothing felt familiar.

He lifted a random item, in this case a leather bound volume of Pablo Neruda, and tried to remember how to be just a man holding a book. It didn't take. He wasn't just a man anymore, he was The Prodigal, the Miracle of Survival, and the weight in his hand was foreign.

Looking into Aurora's glittering umber eyes, he felt foreign. Her gaze had once been a safe harbor for him, a private place separate from the world, yet somehow part of it as well. Now all he felt was distance. Difference. Who the hell was she now? She used to be independent, lithe and stoic; now she was pregnant and lachrymose, obviously desperate for any sign of reconnection to her friend.

How could he explain to her that there was nothing left to connect with? She didn't need him. She had the child and her new commanding officer, and from the look the two had shared when they thought Mueller was unconscious in the Medibay, it was obvious she had a new friend as well. She trusted this new man, she believed in him, and she relied on him.

So where the hell did Miracle Man fit in?<<

Excellent, DN! This was a fabulous debut!

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: goofydoof@mail.com
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: [TrooperFic]Love and Death and Snorks, oh my!

…in no particular order. <g>

DEATH:
BG, you are the undisputed queen of depression and misery. This fic actually *burned* going down! Most excellent (in a depressing, miserable way)!

SNORKS:
"Okay, Apart From THAT" was one of the funniest fics I've read all year! I never thought about how many shuttles they'd lost either, so with that AND all the snarky stuff about hair styles, forehead ridges, and politics, it was really on the nose.

Lines of the week:

>>"Get to shuttlebay three!" Mueller snapped.
>>"We have to get to them before they lose
>>their shields!"
>>
>>Gabriel kicked the toe of his boot idly against
>>the control panel at his station. "Um...sir..." he
>>croaked, "we're kind of...out of shuttles."
>>
>>Mueller's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean
>>*out* of shuttles?"
>>
>>"Well," Gabriel responded sheepishly, "the
>>Vartasians blew up two this morning, Dani
>>crashed hers on the desert planet three
>>days ago, Admiral Riordan still has one that
>>he took to the conference on Mardok Prime,
>>and there's still the matter of the one you and
>>Commander Aurora took on that 'charting
>>mission' last month and never came back with."
>>
>>Commander Aurora's sudden cough just barely
>>concealed the words she intended for Mueller's
>>ears alone. "<cough>The upholstery?<cough>"

Great!

LOVE:
Dirt Nap, yet another great creation from the Smoking Gunner Mill <snigger>, tore my heart out, but finally applied some salve:

spoiler
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>>Her clear, open gaze was a beacon
>>to him, a searchlight blazing through
>>the darkness to which he'd been
>>certain was his only destiny.
>>
>>"Don't make me ask again," Aurora
>>murmured, her deep golden skin
>>glimmering in the half light.
>>
>>Her pride, he recalled, had always been
>>her greatest strength. She had never
>>backed down from any confrontation,
>>never given in to weakness of any kind.
>>
>>So he found it impossible to deny her.
>>She was asking him to come to her,
>>to make that last journey into the
>>unknown, and he found himself eager
>>to do nothing else but this.
>>
>>He slipped out of his tunic and into the
>>silken sheets of her bed. But it wasn't
>>until he wrapped himself around her soft,
>>rounded form that he finally gave in to
>>the words that had swum so near to the
>>surface of his mind for days.
>>
>>"This child is mine."
>>
>>"Of course it is," Aurora whispered.
>>
>>"You are mine," he confirmed.
>>
>>"Of course I am."
>>
>>"This life…" he faltered.
>>
>>Her voice was soft and confident. "Is ours,
>>to make of as *we* wish, Burke."
>>
>>He shuddered at his first name, so unfamiliar
>>coming from her deep russet lips.
>>
>>She chuckled, a light airy sound, and rolled to
>>her side, so he could wrap his arms around
>>the swell of her belly from behind. "You're
>>right, that *is* weird." She shifted her hips
>>just a little and sighed, obviously finding a
>>more comfortable position. "It's our life, our
>>child, our future, *our* choices."
>>
>>He nodded, resting his chin against her sweet
>>bare shoulder. He pressed his lips to the
>>shimmering amber flesh and soft words passed
>>there. "I will never leave you again."
>>
>>She sighed.
>>
>>"I'm sorry," they said in unison.

Wow, that was just so romantic and wonderful! The confessions of love that came after that were a little much for me but I can still buy it.

Now my big question is...will they get to keep the baby, or will the Vartasians steal it away from them??

Goofette

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To: TrooperFic@elists.com
From: Dirt Nap (phoenix@smoking-gun.org)
Date: Sunday, March 18, 2001
Subject: Re: [TrooperFic]Love and Death and Snorks, oh my!

---Goofette wrote---
>>Now my big question is...will they get to keep the baby, or will the Vartasians steal it away from them??<<

Good question, Goofette. I'll let you know.

Back to Oprah,
- DN

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=====
End.

Spelling/Grammar Disclaimer: This has gone through rigorous editing. The practical upshot of this is that the spelling and grammar errors you see here are intentional. It's a digital slice of life - and typo's <tee hee> happen. Just put a little mental "(sic)" after each of them if it makes you feel better.

What's the male form of "Mary Sue"?

Beta thanks to: Sarah Ellen Parsons, who snorked mightily when I first brought up the original idea for this fic about two years ago. This piece has actually been finished for more than a year, and I was about to send it out for final beta when we tragically lost Lee Burwasser. Obviously, I felt it would be in poor taste to post at the time, so I put it aside. Not a word of this fic, however, was inspired by messages on the lists with regard to Lee. I think maybe an online response to a tragic loss must be universal.

Thanks also to Kelly Keil for snorking too, and to Lysandra and Xochiluvr for wincing and raising little white flags. Round Two beta thanks to PUNK, cofax, Tara, Lysandra (who recovered enough to try again), M. Sebasky, Kelly Keil, and Marasmus. And to the sybils, for trying despite hardship.

This flame-inducing fic is dedicated to Sarah Ellen, Token, and all the wonderful authors and readers out there, especially responsible listmoms and the BC-Ls. And as always, to Virginia. Mwa. Since I'm not really a drinker, this is my own affectionate, drunken, "I love you, man." I carry a deep but realistic affection for this community, warts and all. Hope it shows.

"SETI Troopers" itself is an affectionate nudge at Voyager, Bab5, Farscape, Next Gen, and TXF.

Oh, and it's official. I now lurve Langly. Dagnabbit.

livia@stoodjood.com